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Galneda

435 Movie Reviews

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This scene came out great! Tzekel lost some of the character acting in the ending fullshot, but the little reactions that Tulio and Chel were trading off were great! Also, really great backgrounds! I often struggle with background art, and yours fit your shots really well!

I was the voice actor for Tzekel Kan in this, and if you ever need a male vo for one of your originals, hit me up! I'd love to collab.

This came out great! Super dramatic angles, I love the mouth shapes you gave Tzekel Kan. The comedic timing on the hand slap was perfect.

If you ever need more voices for one of your projects, hit me up! I had a blast voicing Tzekel in this, and I'm certain we can make something cool together! Congrats on the Daily 1st!

Orbitten responds:

Thanks. I'll keep it in mind.

Nice! You chose a really complex scene, and it came out great! I remember seeing your WIP's in the Discord chat.

Excited to see how the whole thing looks all at once!

I fucking love Primal, hell yeah.

Corey fucking knocked it outta the park with this voice acting.

Both of these character designs were extremely fun, and I was enamored with the attention to detail on their texturing- from the fur of the rabbit's arms, to the texture of the bear's tongue, and even subtle things like the veins in the bear's bulging eyes. The brain looked great, blood and sweat (and tears) carried the joke really well.

Only critique would be on comedic timing- some shots could've been tightened up a little quicker, but that's purely a creative choice. It's most evident, as it becomes clear that it's not the cookie he's interested in to get that wham, bam, boom, punchline payoff.

It's clear that this is a cartoon presented for kids, (after all, that's who Corey was talking to), the only thing that I think could've punched up the gag is if we got a reaction-shot to what the bunny was looking at. Be it a camera crew of critters / humans in awe at this spectacle of blood, or if it was shot in front of a live-studio audience. Even a misdirect, where the audience is full of bears and they applaud. Turns out this is what bears watch for entertainment!

But like you said, this dang thing took a month, I'm just adding weeks and weeks of work here- this thing is perfectly strong on its own legs. The team did a splendid job, and you all should be proud of that Daily 1st Award! I'll be keeping an eye out for this come Monthly Voting Time!

VoicesByCorey responds:

Thank you for all the kind words, and feedback, Geoff! Indigo has a bright future ahead of them!

Indigo-Bluez responds:

I really appreciate your incredibly detailed feedback! Thank you so much for taking the time to provide your insights, and I'm excited to incorporate your suggestions into my future cartoons!

I just shit myself in fear. Thanks!

You got a great style established so far, with the yellow backgrounds, crisp lip-syncing and decent composition.

A bit of a subversion of expectations on the theme of "The Grimace Shake" meme, and that probably contributed to the overall score. Typically, if people are surfing the tags of Grimace Shake, they could probably expect that horror-themed twist that the shake itself is killing or possessing or transforming people supernaturally.

But here he's just kinda like "Fuck you kid" and that's the punchline. It's just kinda like a whatever gag, like "He's rude, he hates kids, what a dick" and the people that were after that horror stinger or violent theme may have felt misled, and voted averagely. Because all of this isn't bad, and it's evident that there was effort and thought carried out to the short (even if it was only made in a few hours) but it feels anticlimactic and therefore kinda forgettable.

Lip-syncing drops off the face of the earth after the kid's offended, and it just switches between two stills, which indicates that you might've been in a hurry to knock this out real quick before you didn't care about the short anymore (believe me, I get it). So, another contributing factor to the average score could've also been because the ending half didn't have the same polish or detail that it started with. Something else to look out for moving forward as you make your next animation.

RedTariq responds:

Thanks for the tip! This isn't really what I meant when I asked why my stuff got rated so low, considering this animation was more making fun of the tired "someone drinks the Grimace Shake and dies" trend with the anti climatic joke being intentional since it's out of nowhere and I just rushed it so my YouTube channel wouldn't die out so fast.

This isn't my best work, and I understand people don't like my other videos that much either since they're pretty flawed. But I was surprised the results were so mixed because on a website like YouTube, there isn't really a ratings system anymore, so a lot of feedback was overly positive. So for a platform like Newgrounds which basically is all about animation, the mixed reception surprised me.

I also rushed this one because I'm already working on two much more polished animations, taking feedback from others who felt the meme sound effects were too excessive or that the animations were not cohesive enough and applying it there. One is almost a full minute (with actual backgrounds and full animation) and the other is for a part of a collab that is due in September (which is about 20 seconds).

I promise you these videos won't feel as corporate or rushed since I now have more experience with how to make animated comedy work more than just "funny noises and goofy faces!"

She's got a really cute design! I make animatics for a living and one thing I could suggest is having a shot-counter in the top left corner to make it a little more streamlined when you're getting notes. They could still use the time-stamp, sure, but that's just how I've always been taught how to do it- no real right-or-wrong there.

As they say, "as long as it reads" she and the fish look very polished, barely anything is rough about this, so I hope that's not consuming a lot of your time. If not, groovy, but if you're under a time-crunch, don't feel an aversion to get loose with it.

You're dealing with some shots that go back and forth between submerged and looking down on the surface of the water from above- there could be a color choice or visual that could indicate that just a little more clearly.

Anything else that didn't read to the eye immediately, clarified itself later, so I can't gripe on any individual detail- the whole short was fun, everything read well, I'm confident this is gonna look great in final.

Keenobishinobi responds:

Thank you so much for the feedback :)

-This is Phobotech!-
I've done animatics for Cyanide & Happiness, Purgatony, and WWE Storytime! I'm also a voice actor that's performed roles in One Piece, Gundam: Witch from Mercury, & Smite!
Check out my sci-fi novel, Umbra's Legion on Amazon Kindle!

Geoff Galneda @Galneda

Age 37, Male

Voice Actor/Animator

Collin College

Denver, CO

Joined on 9/22/03

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