I used to drink- achieved four years+ of sobriety before I finally learned restraint and moderation.
Jack Daniels was the kinda stuff that people would bring to the apartment for parties, understanding that we drank Whiskey, and that was a normal person's image of what whiskey was. I tell ya, unless you had CocaCola on hand, it was unbearable.
I'm begging you to drink better stuff if you're gonna drink at all. Jameson was our go-to (pairs well with Dr. Pepper). Tullamore Dew if we were on a budget . Jim Beam if we were desperate (you ever had a Pickleback? It sounds gross, but it's fascinatingly good. It's chemistry! Pickle-juice + whiskey, eliminates the harshness). Jack was a last resort. A "break glass in case of emergency needing-to-take-a-shot / mix a Jack and Coke because the night ain't done" kind of emergency.
If you're trying to stop, my inbox is open. It is an expenditure. It is a depressant. It is most likely counter-intuitive to every goal you could have. And if the goal is self-destruction, I can't recommend that either.
You're a talented artist, and talent combined with creativity and imagination go hand-in-hand with neuroticism.
Know that you are your own worst critic. Anxiety is the inner voice that spouts baseless conspiracy theories about yourself. All creatives tread into darkness. Most deal with it by channeling it into their art.
Like you have. I love what you've done here, and I can't wait to see more.
But you don't need that validation from me.
What do you need?